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<title>Civil war? No, inner war. by Orbit_you</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24416746">Civil war? No, inner war.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orbit_you/pseuds/Orbit_you'>Orbit_you</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, Imaginary Friends, Imagination, Insanity, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Plot Twists, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, heart breaking ending, not team Cap friendly, unexpected</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:13:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,300</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24416746</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orbit_you/pseuds/Orbit_you</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“What is the need for a civil war, when you are having a war within your own head? Answer me that, because, I, for once do not have any answer, nor will I ever have one.”<br/>- orbit_you<br/> </p><p>"NOT CIVIL WAR COMPLIENT"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Rhodey" Rhodes &amp; Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov &amp; Tony Stark, Pepper Potts &amp; Tony Stark, Steve Rogers &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. what is the point of being a hero if we just ruin more than we save?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“ARE YOU SHITTING ME” tony heard as soon as he entered the conference room, “language Nat,” rolling his eyes Tony entered, “alright, what’s going on, I’m not here for one second and there’s already cursing going around,"a taking a seat at the head of the table tony rubbed his temple, he was so not ready for this, he had far too much on his platter to be doing this right now, “alright, go, why are we here?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Natasha paced towards tony in a unhuman speed, “why did you not tell us about the accords” she spat out, Tony released a sigh he was holding in, “first of all, if you are going to come that near me, please for the love of god, brush your teeth woman” Natasha’s cheeks flushed scarlet, “oh I’m joking Natty Watty, but on a more serious note, you do not seem too keen about the accords, which is exactly why I kept it from you, till it was the right time”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And when exactly was the right time, stark?” Steve grilled, “you do not have the right to keep this from us, absolutely no right.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tony gave a sarcastic chuckle, “oh yeah? and you had the rights to hide <strong>the death of my parents </strong>from me, rogers?” Tony challenged. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Steve backed down, the feeling of shame hitting him like a brick to the face, Tony rubbed his face, “okay, let’s not do this now, we are here to talk about the accords, not about how my parents were shamelessly killed by someone who we have no idea about, besides would you have listened to me, If I were to tell you about the accords a few months earlier?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You seriously cannot expect us to trust you, especially after Ultron” Clint catechized, Tony flinched at the unwanted memories that flooded his mind, clenching his teeth he tried not to launch himself at Clint. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Listen here, Barton, I may have created the mess, but I also cleaned up after myself, have any of you ever done that?, I took all the expenses, made sure everyone who was affected got the proper treatment and helped them with the money, my a.is helped the country, tell me have you ever gone back to clean after yourself?, any of you?, no, so do not bring something from the past up, the country trusts me again, more than any of you, that is why I was told of the accords rather than any of you, so if I were you I would not question my loyalty.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Okay, this is getting out of hand, let’s just focus on the accords” Wanda spoke out, with her thick sokovian accent, for the first time since the beginning of the meeting, “I agree with Tony on this one, we may be saving people, but we also leave the place in ruins and none of us clean up, except him, so I give a yes in this, I say yes to the accords” She gave a small smile to tony which he returned.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“wow, out of everyone here I did not expect you to agree with me first, Wanda, especially by using my first name” he winked in her direction, “but, the rest of you, you do not need to decide right now, you have time, I do suggest you choose to saying yes, because we are illegally entering other countries, even if we want to help, we help but then they are left to clean up the mess, if we do sign this contract, we can enter the countries legally, so even if we do make a mess, it would not be illegal, and <strong>what is the point of being a hero if we just ruin more than we save</strong>?”</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. One day, i'll make a dream last.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Who are you going to turn to now, in your times of despair? For I, was your only liberator”</p><p>-	Orbit_you</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Falling onto his couch, Tony heaved a breath, which one could only describe as the sigh of yearning. After all, having just been told you are nothing by the people you may have believed to be your, I dare say, “Friends” is not a pleasant predicament to come across. But Tony had been used to it, he had to be used to it. After all, he had been receiving it his whole life. If so, then why was it so hard for him to keep his cool? Why was it so difficult for him to hold back the unshed tears that threatened to fall any minute? That’s because he wasn’t used to it, no. No matter how hard he tried believing that he was. How could one possibly be used to such abrasive wording? That’s a question that will be answered another time. </p><p>Walking towards his balcony, Tony stark deciphered that it was quite late. The stars were shining blazingly and the moon was display off its luminous glow, oh how he would love to be the moon. Strange isn’t it? To wish for such an abnormal thing. But who wouldn’t want to be the moon, to do nothing yet still be adored by many, to do nothing yet to shine so brightly. To have done nothing but light up others world all your existence, to be the driving source of one’s life. </p><p> </p><p>“Tony, you can’t let your fear be your driving force”</p><p>“No! You do not understand Peps, I am breaking, I am slipping away from myself. I can’t hold it in anymore. Do you have any idea of what it’s like to not be able to sleep properly? To not be able to eat peacefully, to not be able to sit down for a second peacefully, without the fear of getting attacked? No, pepper, I would love for this to go away. Oh you have no idea how much I do, but I’m just a simple man. I can’t make it go away no matter what, it’s always going to be with me”</p><p>“But this fear will eat you up, Tony, you have to see yourself. You are not able to sleep well, I can’t bear seeing you like this”</p><p>“I’m sorry peps, I’m sorry that you have to see me like this. But I can’t just sit and do nothing, I need to do something, or this fear will eat me up. It will make me go crazy. And if I go crazy, you do already know what will happen, don’t you? I will destroy this planet entirely, without even realising it. I have the power to make such weapons that could wipe out this entire planet, if not this entire universe. If I do not act upon my fear right now, this instant, I’m afraid I will ruin this. Everything. I am so terrified that I will hurt you. I do not want to hurt you, pepper. You keep me going, you’re my power source and my only light. You can leave me, if you wish to do so, because I will not rest until I am sure that every danger coming towards this planet is destroyed. I won’t rest until I know I am not a threat to you or anyone else, pepper, I need to make sure.”</p><p> </p><p>Remembering his last conversation with pepper like it was yesterday, so tangible and real, it suddenly made his heart feel dense with sorrow. His driving source, his moon, had insisted they take a ‘break.’ Now tell me, how could one take a break from its source of light? How could one take a break from the moon?<br/>Rolling his eyes at his pathetic reveries, Tony sauntered back into his room. There’s no point in dwelling now. What’s done is done, and he can’t do anything about it. Even if it breaks his heart, even if every inch of him begged him to go to pepper. To plead her to come back to him, to return his moon back to him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>heyyyyyy, So this is my second chapter, please let me know how it was, and if you have any ideas for my upcoming chapters, i would love to hear all of them. </p><p>- orbit!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hiiii! This is my first ever story on this "app" PLease, tell me what your personal opinions on the story are, always appreciate tips and feedback. Thank you for reading.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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